Goat and the Hog, The

A GOAT and a Hog were great friends, and for a long time they lived together. But they were poor, and one day the Goat said to the Hog--

               "Good-bye, friend Hog! I am going to seek my fortune."

               "Ugh! ugh! ugh!" said the Hog. It was kindly meant, for that was all the ignorant Hog could say. He intended to bid good-bye to his friend, and to wish him good luck.

               The Goat trotted along till he came to the nearest town. He found a grain-shop with nobody in it; so in went our Goat, and ate his fill of the Grain, and whatever he could find. Then he went into the inner room, and sat down.

               By-and-by the shopman came in; his little girl was with him, and the little girl began to cry for sugar.

               "Go and get some out of the cupboard," said the shopman.

               The little girl ran into the inner room to get the sugar, but the Goat was there. And when the Goat saw the little girl, he cried out, in a solemn and loud voice--

"Little girl, go run, go run,           
Or your life is nearly done!           
And my crumpled horns I'll stick           
Through your little body quick!"

               The little girl ran out shrieking. "What is it, my dear?" said her father.

               "A demon, father!" she said; "save me from his crumpled horn."

               What a terrible thing to happen in a quiet household! The poor man did not know what to do. So he sent for all his relations, and they advised him to try what the parson could do.

               So the Parson was sent for, and the Clerk, and the Sexton, with bell, book, and candle. They lit the candle, and opened the book (I think it was a Latin Grammar, which they judged would be enough to scare any demon), and rang the bell; and then the Parson, with his heart in his boots, advanced into the room.

               Instantly a horrid groan burst upon his ears (or so he thought), and a deep voice said--

"Parson, fly! or I will poke             
     This my crumpled horn into you!           
You'll admit it is no joke             
     When you feel its point go through you!           
Sexton, dig his grave, and then           
Let the Clerk reply, Amen!"

               The Parson dropt his Latin Grammar, and ran away, nor did he stop until he was safe in his own church.

               At this the Shopman went down on his knees, and put his hands together, and said--

               "O most respectable Demon! whoever you are, I pray you do me no harm; and I will worship you, and offer you anything you may desire."

               Then the Goat came majestically out, walking upon his hind legs, with his grey beard flowing from his chin, and he said--

               "Put wreaths and jewels about my neck, and on each of my horns, and round my paws and my tail, and give me sweetmeats to eat, and I will do you no harm."

               The Shopman made haste to do all this; he wreathed the Goat with flowers, and put all his wife's jewels upon the horns and paws, and all the jewels he could borrow from his neighbours.

               The Goat went home, and showed all this magnificence to his friend the Hog. The Hog winked his greedy little eyes, and somehow made his friend understand that he would like some too. Then the Goat told him how he got the things, and showed him the way to the place.

               So the Hog went to the same shop, and found it empty. The Shopman and his little girl had gone out to tell all the town what adventures they had passed through. The Hog grubbed up all he could find to eat, and then went and sat in the inner room.

               Soon the Shopman and his little girl came back. The little girl ran inside to take off her little hat, and what does she see but a big black Hog sitting there! The Hog remembered his lesson, and wanted to say some terrible thing as the Goat had done; but all he could get out was--

               "Ugh! ugh! ugh!"

               This did not frighten the little girl at all. She ran out to her father, saying--

               "O papa! there is a big black Hog inside!"

               The Shopman got out his knife, and whetted it on the grindstone, and then he went into the room.

               "Ugh! ugh! ugh!" said the Hog.

The Shopman said nothing, but stuck his knife into           
the Hog. Then there was a squealing and squalling,           
if you like! But in two minutes the Hog was dead,           
and in two hours he was skinned and cut up, and by           
nightfall, the Shopman and his little girl, and all           
their friends, were sitting round a delicious           
leg of roast pork, and the Sexton rang           
the bell for dinner, and the Parson           
said grace, and the Clerk           
said Amen.