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Gardner Productions
Registered User
(11/25/06 4:47 pm)


Need help w/ script for Cinderella Film
Hi, I was browsing this page because I'm in the process of brainstorming ideas for the plotline of a Cinderella film I'm making (my own variation, with a little bit of "La Centerentola" and "Giselle" mixed in). Basically, here is the plot line so far, I am extremely open to suggestions so please tell me you like/ think I should change and I will gladly take your ideas into consideration. I'm making this film in coordination with Comcast and Michigan State University, and donating all the proceeds to The Children's Cancer Foundation. Alright, here goes, in very informal format:

The prince is sick of the whole royalty thing, so he decides to see what its like to be a peasant. He disappears everyday and no one ever knows where he goes; rumors arise throughout the kingdom. Meanwhile, he has decided to become the apprentice of a local glass-smith in the village. The glassmaker is old, kind, and wise, and the prince confides his whole predicament in him.

Cinderella lives with her stepmother and stepsisters, as usual. Her two sisters are constantly sending her into town to buy new mirrors because 1 of them is obsessed with their beauty, and the other is ugly and is constantly getting into hysterical fits and breaking the mirrors. (*note: I'm not quite sure if mirrors would have been made at a glass shop, but this story doesn't really have a defined era, so I don't know- does anyone know this?? It's vital to the plot so I'm hoping they did make them) So Cinderella is pretty good friends with glassmith by now because she's always buying mirrors from him. He knows what a kind, humble, and genuine person she is, so he decides to "set her up" with the prince. She doesn't know he's the prince though, obviously. (Now here is where it can split into one of two things. Either the prince can think she's just a normal peasant, or the glass-smith can tell him that she is not just a commoner, not exactly royalty, but higher class, so she too is decieving him). Ok. So they meet, he instantly is attracted to her, but she is a little turned off by his arrogance (especially since he's supposedly a commoner, but a commoner with the self-view of a prince). The prince keeps his real identity hidden to see if she would still love them despite his social status. They get to know eachother better and start growing closer. The prince goes home one night and his mother, the queen, is now finally pissed that he still isn't married, and also because he's never there. So she makes him have a ball, and he suggests that it be a masquerade. He invites Cinderella to the ball, and she says that she can't go because it's short notice and she doesn't have a dress or anything. So the prince gets her the dress, and has the glassmaker make her the glass shoes (so, the prince is kind of like her fairy godmother in this version). The prince tells his page to trade places with him at the ball and the both wear the exact same outfit, but with different masks. The page gladly accepts the offer, and pretends to be the prince for the night. When Cinderella arrives, the real prince watches their interactions at a distance while the page, pretending to be the prince, approaches her. They dance a while and it is close to midnight. The page says that he must choose a bride by midnight, and asks her to marry him. (The real prince is hoping she'd say no, because then he would know for sure that she loved him for him and would never leave him for a prince) She politely turns him down, but feeling threatened and scared at the "prince's" pushyness for them to get married, she runs out of the ball in such a hurry that she leaves one of the glass shoes behind. There is a rumor going around that the prince is searching for the girl from the ball by having the maidens of the kingdom try on the glass slipper left behind. Cinderella, frightened that she will be found out, gives the slipper to one of her stepsisters. She figures that since it was a masquerade, the prince wouldn't recognize her anyways and whoever has the other slipper must be the girl he 'fell in love with' at the ball. The prince finally makes his way to the stepsisters' house, and when the stepsister pulls out the glass slipper, he knows that she must know Cinderella. So he makes her tell him where she is and then he finds her and confesses the truth about everything and *poof* happy ending. So, is there anything anyone could add/take away to make this better? Sorry it was so long! Thanks!

Veronica Schanoes
Registered User
(11/25/06 5:45 pm)


Re: Need help w/ script for Cinderella Film
Where mirrors would have been made, where they would have been obtained, and what they would have been made out of is going to depend greatly on when and where the film is set. I'm fairly well-versed in the history of mirrors, though (long story), and there really isn't such a thing as a "glassmith." Glassworks, yes, but they were closely guarded (by such things as government-sponsored assassination).

I've always wondered why anybody would ever get sick of being royalty.

Gardner Productions
Registered User
(11/25/06 11:09 pm)


Re: Need help w/ script for Cinderella Film
Well I know the whole "being sick of royalty" is so cliche, but I remember reading about Marie Antoinette; she had no idea how the other half lived, and so she had a little peasant house made so she could pretend to be a peasant- on the grounds of her palace though, of course.) I didn't mention why he gets sick of it but in the first few scenes there are a multitude of women he "courts" and he knows every single one of them is only interested in him because if they win him over, they will one day be queen. So its not so much that he's sick of royalty, its more like him pretending to be a peasant to see if someone could really love him for who he is. About the glassworks, I work at Greenfield Village in Dearborn (www.thehenryford.org) if you haven't heard of it, its like this little "town" that Henry Ford put together with notable historic homes, and presenters walk around in old fashioned costumes and go about life as they would in their era. It's kind of like a larger scale Plymouth Plantation. They have a craftworks district with a working glassworks, tinshop, pottery, weaving, etc. So I can have some of my friends in the glass shop make real glass slippers and film some scenes in there, etc. I feel quite dumb calling it a glass smith now.. haha. But I didn't know that glassworks were strongly protected? What era was that? I haven't chosen what era to set this in yet, and that's another reason I need the help. Greenfield Village has a kind of ambiguous era, anywhere from between the 1700's to the early 1900's. I could also film at the Henry Ford Estate (henryfordestate.org) Which looks like a castle. I will also be traveling to Ireland at some point to get some establishing shots, but I can't bring all the actors with me so they would just be exterior shots. I am very interested to hear more about what you know about the glass and mirrors, do you know anything more, or where I could read about it? Thanks so much!

Rosemary Lake
Registered User
(11/26/06 2:23 am)


Re: Need help w/ script for Cinderella Film
If you're going to have glass slippers, I don't know why you couldn't have glass mirrors! It is a fantasy world after all.

But it looks like all that's needed is for C to visit the glassmaker often, so maybe she could need some other glass product. How about one of the stepsisters has such a high screechy voice that it keeps breaking their wineglasses? (And the other is so ugly that when she looks in a mirror it breaks. Or maybe even if she's reflected in a window, or seen through one, it breaks.) What else did people use glass for in your world?

Overall the story sounds very interesting. The ending seemed a little weak, but I'll have to look at it again. I'm going to post this before EZ eats it. :-)

Rosemary Lake
Registered User
(11/26/06 2:41 am)


Re: Need help w/ script for Cinderella Film
[[ The prince finally makes his way to the stepsisters' house, and when the stepsister pulls out the glass slipper, he knows that she must know Cinderella. So he makes her tell him where she is and then he finds her ]]

I'm sure as the project goes along you'll have more ideas, but this ending does seem rather weak to me: no surprises.

What flashed into my mind was several girls turning up with glass slippers. Maybe the first shoe didn't fit either stepsister so they (separately, secretly) went to the glass-maker to get slippers made that would fit them. I'm not sure what C is afraid of, but if her slipper is evidence, the glassmaker might decide to make some more to confuse the issue. Or, being wise and concerned, he might have some other idea that more slippers would solve the problem.

(Maybe the screechy stepsister gets mad and screams and all the slippers break, except the true slipper for some reason does not break.)

Gardner Productions
Registered User
(11/26/06 8:58 am)


Re: Need help w/ script for Cinderella Film
That's a really good idea, to have all the girls of the village go and have slippers made! There's one problem though, is that each glass slipper costs around $150 so it would get a little pricey... or I could just use one slipper and film them separately. But the prince already knows he wants to marry Cinderella, he's not actually looking for the girl, but she had disappeared with the other slipper so he is looking for someone who has it because they would know of her whereabouts. Cinderella doesn't want to marry the "prince" because she's in love with the real prince who is disguised as a peasant. That's why she gives her slipper to one of her step sisters, because she thinks that the "prince" she met at the ball will just think it's the girl he fell in love with and marry the stepsister instead, and then she'd be off the hook. I want to establish a contrast between the two stepsisters, and I like your idea of one being ugly so the mirror breaks, and another being so full of herself and having screaming fits that she breaks the glass with her screeching. How would I go about getting a mirror to break on camera without touching it? I guess I could film it sitting there, then stop the camera, break it, and turn the camera back on and add a sound effect?

Rosemary Lake
Registered User
(11/26/06 10:34 pm)


Re: Need help w/ script for Cinderella Film
If C. does not want to marry the 'prince' (really page disguised) while lots of other girls do, then that could be the contrast that helps the real prince recognize her. The others are all crowding round and waving their glass slippers, while C. (wearing a plain cloak and trying to hide) is staying in the background, perhaps helping the others, and trying to sneak away.

Gardner Productions
Registered User
(11/27/06 12:08 am)


Re: Need help w/ script for Cinderella Film
See, there is just a kind of big problem with the plot. The prince knows Cinderella pretty well; they "hung out" a lot before he invited her to the ball. (That's how he fell in love with her, I don't see how someone can fall in love just by meeting someone at a ball). Therefore, since he knows her well, he knows who he wants to marry, and he wouldn't be going around looking for the girl at the ball because he knew it was her all along. Do you understand what I mean? So after she flees the ball I really don't know what to do because it really wouldn't make that much sense for him to search the kingdom because they are friends. However he doesn't know where she lives or anything, she's still somewhat mysterious to him.

Rosemary Lake
Registered User
(11/27/06 3:34 pm)


Re: Need help w/ script for Cinderella Film
I'm having a lot of connection problems so must answer quickly, I may not have been able to read all your posts carefully. Anyway here are some ideas to bounce off. :-)

Okay, so his hoax with the page has served its purpose? She refused the page-prince once and that's enough for him?

Looking for the 'shoe girl' as a way to LOCATE C. makes sense. That's what he's really doing. But he can't say so publically, can he? That would mean admitting he staged the page hoax. So maybe he can't explain, and rumour exaggerates things.

How about the 'search for the mysterious shoe-wearer' takes on a life of its own with exciteable people talking about it and lots of girls wanting shoes to apply with, etc. The prince wouldn't have to push it at this point, he could be just as disgusted with it as C. is. That could be HOW they finally get together; both of them are trying to sneak away from the hysteria.

Gardner Productions
Registered User
(11/27/06 6:59 pm)


Re: Need help w/ script for Cinderella Film
So do you mean like the whole glass shoe thing starts a fad and all the girls start wearing glass shoes? Or am I interpreting that wrong. I really like the idea!

Veronica Schanoes
Registered User
(11/27/06 8:50 pm)


Re: Need help w/ script for Cinderella Film
Oy, as my Nana used to say. Mirrors are things I ended up knowing a lot more about than I ever wanted to, and that knowledge is both fascinating and stupefyingly dull, if you know what I mean. I think the international espionage and assassination around mirrors had died down by the 18th century, but they were still a precious commodity, as the process of making sheet glass (flat panes) was very complicated and laborious--having to purchase mirror after mirror would be quite costly for Cindy's family!

There are some very good histories of the mirror out there. The best are

Goldberg, Benjamin. The Mirror and Man. Charlottesville: University Press of Virginia, 1985.

and

Melchior-Bonnet, Sabine. The Mirror: A History. 1994. Trans. Katharine H. Jewett. New York: Routledge, 2001.

Happy reflecting!

Gardner Productions
Registered User
(11/27/06 10:07 pm)


Re: Need help w/ script for Cinderella Film
Thank you for the references.. I'll see if my university library has them. I've never heard of such espionage about mirrors, it seems very interesting. Thank you so much for that bit of info, I'm going to have to figure out how to fit it into the plot.

Gardner Productions
Registered User
(11/27/06 10:19 pm)


Re: Need help w/ script for Cinderella Film
Yay! They have them! I'll be getting them tommorow :D Thanks again!

Rosemary Lake
Registered User
(11/28/06 3:36 am)


Re: Need help w/ script for Cinderella Film
[[ So do you mean like the whole glass shoe thing starts a fad and all the girls start wearing glass shoes? Or am I interpreting that wrong. I really like the idea! ]]

Whatever you like, itís your movie. :-) The Ďsearchí can be as long or short as you like; ;it could be long enough for a fad of wearing glass shoes to start. Everyone knows the traditional tale, and people like a surprising, colorful climax to a movie, so the audience will go along with just about anything.

The good guys need to have good motives and do sensible things, but there can be plenty of foolish, exciteable people around to start rumours and fads. Fads and rumours donít have to be logical, or shown in detail. Just a montage sort of thing would be enough.

The problem I see is the wise, kind glass-maker going along with it. But maybe he had made a lot of faulty shoes before he got them right, and someone else (his wife or relative or assistant) wants to sell those shoes at a profit; so that person would have a big selfish motive for starting such a rumour or fad. The glass-maker might even be out of town at the time the rumour/fad starts.

LiAnNa Kari
Registered User
(12/4/06 6:23 pm)


Re: Need help w/ script for Cinderella Film
Maybe you could find a inexpensive way to make the 'fad' slippers...such as using a clear plastic.

elana
Registered User
(12/12/06 9:06 pm)


Re: Need help w/ script for Cinderella Film
One possible complication to make the ending more interesting: how does Cinderella feel about being deceived by the prince? Does she just accept it passively? It seems like if she were really virtuous and humble, maybe she doesn't even want to be a princess, especially not after the prince manipulated her as a "test" of her virtue. I don't know if this is a direction that you want to explore, but it might make her a stronger character to have her put the prince through some "testing" of her own. I dunno, I'll think about this more...good luck!

Rosemary Lake
Registered User
(12/13/06 2:01 am)


Re: Need help w/ script for Cinderella Film
[[ have her put the prince through some "testing" of her own. ]]

Hm. I don't know whether the movie needs any more complication, especially at the end. My take on many of the Cinderella variants is that she is testing the prince, making him seek her in her poor surroundings in her humble disguise, but I'm not sure that applied to the versions the OP is starting with.

How she FEELS about being tricked is a good point, tho. She'd probably at least have something to say about that!

Gardner Productions
Registered User
(12/20/06 1:25 am)


Re: Need help w/ script for Cinderella Film
I really like that take on it, and I was definately going to include it in there at some point, its just still difficult to figure this whole plot out.. well I have until August to finish it, but I still need to get cracking!

Troy Patterson
Registered User
(1/16/07 4:16 pm)


Re: Need help w/ script for Cinderella Film
I believe peasants in the time period you are suggesting, used polished metal for mirrors rather than glass.

Troy Patterson TMPCarbs.net

Edited by: Troy Patterson at: 1/17/07 3:24 pm
Troy Patterson
Registered User
(1/16/07 5:03 pm)


Re: Need help w/ script for Cinderella Film
I had suggested some ideas in another post, but it seems not to have made it to the forum, so I will restate it - although in a somewhat abbreviated manner.

I agree, the end seems to lack something.

I would like to see the Prince "in disguise" go looking for the Cinderella, the girl with the glass slipper.

Perhaps the Prince "in disguise" never got her name, so he had to look for the "girl with the glass slipper."

The townspeople know through the Prince's page he is looking for her. The word has spread all over town.

The townspeople try to block (through various methods) the Prince "in disguise" from finding Cinderella out of loyalty to the Prince. When it is revealed, or learned the Prince "in disguise" is the real Prince, the step-sister misleads him as to her whereabouts sending him to his certain death.

The Prince is provided ever increasing hurdles (and therefore building tension) to overcome in pursuit of his goal - Cinderella's hand in marriage, with the risk of failure and death.

Troy Patterson TMPCarbs.net

Edited by: Troy Patterson at: 1/17/07 3:23 pm

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